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Monday Morning Telephone Calls

by The Glare

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1.
The chrome got so hot in the sunshine You thought you could see it move Reverberating like turpentine What the minus sign would improve Why no minus? It’s surely not a plus. House divided What will become of us? The kids gathered ‘round The Oldsmobile They pointed up to the sky The interlopers were arriving …and we still felt like getting high Why no minus? We’re multiples of one Not abandoned The blues are on the run They landed behind the hockey rink Presumably to set up camp Did the ice melt in the kitchen sink? Why was everything so damp? That’s an expensive cannonball. Those are some brand new tires. There’s a dent in the hood of my car. The security guards are liars. The Flash dashed across the astroturf The plastic started to melt The kids all listened to “Charlie Don’t Surf.” On Radio Roosevelt Why No Minus? Baby, you’re so square Why no minus? Baby, I don’t care. Why No Minus? Baby, you’re so square Why no minus? Baby, I don’t care.
2.
Where to begin? Let’s start right here. The underside Of Stratosphere. When we appeared In Santa Fe With nothing but A Cabernet Our suits were torn Our lips were split The children born Who did not fit Don’t put your hand on the glass Don’t leave the lights on besides We’re here in the hemisphere In our stainless steel rides You found us jobs You gave us art To drop inside A shopping cart We did our best To blend right in While we convulsed In second skin Our suits were torn Our lips were split The children born Who did not fit Don’t put your hand in the flame Don’t leave the toy in the box Living under assumed names Using blankets to detox We left an unholy trench A mile long and two feet wide They say you could hear the stench As the fossils liquefied So here we are In Santa Fe I have a gig With Chevrolet I hear the lights I see the cracks On the surface Of Crackerjacks Please tell me when You will arrive To take us home I’ll believe it when I see it. Don’t put your hair in a bun No trouble on my account I will live a thousand years I will live a thousand years I’ll be here. I’ll be here. I’m stranded. I’m stranded. I’m stranded. I’ll be here.
3.
I can hook you up. I can throw you a curve In the kitchen Where I cook the books. I can hook you up. If I had twice the nerve Stop your bitching Using nasty looks. Seems obvious to me They’re leaving in droves There’s a man up the street Selling fishes and loaves I can hook you up Not with what you deserve Your religion They’re a bunch of crooks Seems obvious to me They’re climbing the hills There’s a tent in the trees Where people burn their bills I can hook you up Oh I can hook you up Baby I can hook you up With whatever you request I can hook you up Oh I can hook you up Baby I can hook you up But it might not be the best
4.
Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up.
5.
Stray Dog 03:18
I misplaced my gun Just like I lost my keys I tried to make it fun Mumbling in the breeze My gun had some weight A pound or slightly more Pound for pound is too late For us to ignore We looked for my gun On the roof In the trash Should we walk Will we run Do we pay in cash Stray Dog I watched Stray Dog Last Night Stray Dog Stray Dog I forgot my colt Just where I cannot know My boss called me a dolt And had me shoveling snow Then my gun arrived In a crate made of wood Held by a cadaver On his way to Hollywood They said he had the style His life has just begun He was just a juvenile Who found a missing gun
6.
7.
He wandered the steppes With a skull in one hand and a stone in the other Cain was his main inspiration Unable was his brother. He walked for days and days Until the sun and the ground Met in a line a thousand days away Looking for someone just like him To kill on a whim Everything was searing and red The ground and the sky It hurt to watch He didn’t care why He kept on walking He met another near the hills He cracked his skull with the stone And hid him near a pile of dirt He didn’t care why He continued alone And one day he died Dropping to ground where he once stood There was nothing left in him He was bereft of good And evil There was only him And his stone and his skull Fell from his hands Into the sand
8.
I want what you want I didn’t say I don’t I’ll be up all afternoon Documentaries about the moon Landings in New Mexico The men from Texaco Nobody knew between you and… I want what you want We can’t say I won’t The Thai place is serving lunch When I’m done my Captain Crunch You can drive us halfway there I’ll walk the rest if you don’t care It’s up to you Between you and… I want what you want I’ll never say die I want what you want We’ll make it work I suppose I want what you want That’s what I said Over and over That’s what I said The weight of evidence Is on my side The burden of proof Arrives at low tide Sinking in the sand I’ll lend a hand Because I want what you want
9.
We got a call from the boys in the lab Who told us they had been wrong all along That thing’s been hanging around for years Well before we’d heard of Mao Tse-Tung They took it apart and they let it loose It returned with all its brand new friends They smoked until their throats were black That’s what the surgeon general recommends You can't prove anything Even when you do We’ll find something else to find T here it is in black and blue I tried moved to Sacramento To see if I could get a half-assed job The last time I wore my Nixon mask I was looking for a place to rob They told the people at the liquor store Not to spit on the expensive tiles I can see what they’re trying to do Hell, I can see the secret files You can't prove anything Even if you did Someone else proved something else Move your family to another grid Here comes the end of the world Introducing the end of the world A brig round of applause for the end of the world We’ll see you all next year Well, most of you. Probably not all. They looted all the hospitals And the orphanages and the schools They were mad that all the adderall Was racist. You can't prove anything I’d like to see you try Sit yourself near the amplifier I’d like to see you die. Here comes the end of the world Introducing the end of the world A brig round of applause for the end of the world We’ll see you all next year Well, most of you. Probably not all.
10.
Exhaust 04:04
They’re making pots and pans Out of stuff they found on The Moon Rubber tires and exhaust fans Peak oil peaked too soon I had a dream last night That ended Monday afternoon My alibi was too airtight It popped like a balloon Space is the place Pack your suitcase You’re out on your ass This time next year There’s no room left Property is theft So work the room In the atmosphere I wait in line all day To get ice in a paper sack There’s a flyer inside my room And a schedule on the back Space is the place If that’s the case You’ll be dead by the time you read this Two billion gone After the dawn Of a sun the color Of a kiss Celcius or fahrenheit We’re all gonna choke So remember things Go better with Coke Canada Dry Ginger Ale It’s not too damned sweet Put on your sun glasses You can beat the heat We can’t beat the heat

about

The Glare play folk-rock.
They sing songs about panda bears, lonely people, cults, and the end of the world.
Unexpectedly funny stuff.
The songs combine sunshine pop, 1960s Elektra Records weirdness, 1980s college rock, and film noir.

credits

released December 8, 2023

Music written and recorded by Kraig Jordan.
Lyrics by Guy Benoit.

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The Glare Providence, Rhode Island

Gaze upon The Glare!
The Glare’s albums are lush, gorgeous arrangements of folky, sunshine pop.
Their live performances are powerful and often hilarious examples of acoustic minimalism.
They play Lonely Guy Rock just for you and all your friends.
Catchy and dark
... more

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